Actual Police comments from around the country

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes,sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
13. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Tales of traffic holligans

I spent much of June out of the country on business. When I got back in early July, I noticed a remarkable increase in law enforcement targeting sport bikes. I personally got pulled over 3 times over the July 4th weekend. Each stop was nothing more than a short conversation that ended with the "ride safe". I was a little put out over the stops - I was well within the posted speeds, all my lighting works properly, my bike is properly tagged, etc. At best I was going 5 over the speed limit on 2 lane highways. Not exactly what one would define as the bastian of illegal vehicle activity.

I phoned a rider friend who is a State Highway Patrol Officer. He told me about the statewide crackdown - and to expect more scrutiny when I ride a sport bike.

He sent me this link of a news story that ran while I was out of town - attached is the link.

http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_061608WAB_motorcycle_stunts_I-5_SW.da04f5b.html

All I have to say is - WHAT ARE YOU GUYS THINKING?

Laying down your bike

I went to a bike night event at the local pub last night. We had a pretty good turn out - there was about 80 bikes that rode in. Good times had by all.

At my table, one of the riders was telling a story about a recent accident he was in. He was riding in his own neighborhood - speed limit was posted at 25. He was going a little fast - he thought he was doing 40. A car backed out of a driveway and he layed down his bike to avoid a head on collision.

He was banged up pretty bad - but his bike was totalled.

While I really have a lot of sympathy for his pain and his loss, I really don't understand the need to lay the bike down. Obviously, laying it down is probably a lot better than a head on collision - but what about going AROUND the car? Or - and this is one of those 20-20 hindsight statements - why not go a little slower so that you CAN stop?

I am not trying to be contentious - but very rarely do I hear a story about laying a bike down that I don't think that was a stupid move. I am sure there are situations where there simply was no other choice. I ride every day - both as a commute as well as for pleasure. I see my share of cagers trying to violate the laws of physics (like trying to occupy the same space I am) every day.

But I have not had to lay down my bike once in 30 plus years of riding.

I think the key is to ALWAYS have at least 3 paths to take if you need to take action. Bikes are far more agile than cars - can accelerate faster, brake faster, turn quicker - you have a lot of options. And when the road doesn't give you options for evasive driving - slow down!

Stay safe out there.

How to wheelie - excellant video

An excellant tutorial on how to wheelie.

Aligning motorcycle wheels

To make sure my wheels are aligned I use a cheap laser pointer.

It is really helpful to have your bike on a stand. I use the Pit Bull stands - both front and rear.

You will also need something to secure the laser pointer. You want the laser pointer to be high enough to at least shine along the sidewall of the rear tire. A brick works pretty good - and I typically just tape the pointer to the top of the brick.

I use a piece of wood for the "alignment measurement". Get a piece of wood about six inches wide, and mark the center. Add another marking equal to half of the rear tire width.

Place the wood on the front tire with the center mark in middle of tire and outside measurement on the laser side.

Place brick and pointer at back wheel so laser crosses both sides of rear tire and points at wood on the front tire.

If laser points at outside measure get a tape measure and put it on both rims of front tire so the laser light shines on the tape measure to see if you have to move rear tire.

Things I learned in 3 days on my Buell 1125R

A total of 5 of us took a couple days vacation to ride on the Eastern side of the Cascades. These are the things that I learned 1131 miles later.

1. When riders are equal in skills, the 1125R is faster than a 2007 GSXR 1000. I beat my buddy (who I NORMALLY can't keep up with) in a 2 mile "drag", a 10 mile circuit, and every other way we "psuedo raced". Since we always bet (and always the same amount), my trusty 1125R earned me $10 (we ONLY bet $1 per bet). Of course, it cost me $20 in gas - but having his signature on each dollar bill is priceless.
2. When the entire pack (except for yourself) gets a speeding ticket - you have to buy dinner. Especially when they got the ticket trying to catch up to you.
3. Women - regardless of age - seem to like a sexy bike. Oh - and the 1125R is sexy. Yet another reason for my friends to hate me.
4. Bungied luggage (tail bag) doesn't like wheelies. It really doesn't matter if they are 1st gear, 2nd gear, or 3rd gear wheelies. Ok - maybe I am wrong - bungied luggages HATES 3rd gear wheelies.
5. Stoppies are scary. Especially if you don't know how to do one safely.
6. Deer in the road near dusk are VERY scary. Time to get off the road when the bambies are wandering about.
7. At least two of the bed and breakfasts between Winthrop and Lake Chelan, WA have a rule - no motorcycles in the living room.
8. At least on this trip, birds will crap on a GSXR before a Buell. In a total of 7 stops for food over 3 days, my GSXR buddy got his bike crapped on by birds. The Buell - spotless. Guess birds around here have good taste.
9. My electrical gremlins seem to be gone. She started each and every time - no worries.
10. It is a little scary how fast she will get to triple digits.
11. Saying "Yes Sir, Sheriff" is a good thing.
12. We all forget to thank our law enforcement officers. This is my thank you to Sheriff X (you know who you are). I probably did deserve a ticket - but you were great about it. It was sorta lame - a 41 in a 35 is a little tough - and I get that you are supposed to ticket people going 5 over - glad you didn't see me outside of town.
13. Fuel economy varied widely. Of course, over the few days, there were tanks I TOTALLY flogged her. On those - I averaged about 30 MPG or so. On the super slab - totally being a law abiding citizen - I got 41 MPG.
14. If it at all possible, I love this machine more now than the day I took delivery. It makes me a better rider than I am, delivers more grins per mile than anything I have ever ridden, and has caused my bald spot to grow hair (ok - that last one MIGHT be an exaggeration).